……. Car somersaulted three times
……….One eye & one earlobe gone, limbs to be replaced
…..Arraigned in Court
……..I didn’t commit rape
As I opened my eyes I saw five men in different uniform that surrounded me on my hospital bed: A fully armed-to- the teeth Police officer, a Fire Brigade official and three doctors with their stethoscopes hanging loosely on their necks. I closed my eyes . To be sure of what I saw I opened my eyes again and behold I saw my right leg casts hanging in the air. I also sighted a stump of my left leg in bandage, this one has been amputated. I discovered that I could not open one eye . When I touched my head I realised that my head had been bandaged . I saw two intravenous poles … one giving me blood, the other with white liquid . Blood transfusion ke!.
I tried to lift up my arm but no way, it was as heavy as lead. I tried to speak but it was as if my tongue was tied -as if suffering from ankyloglossia . My head was heavy and with serious headache , my head was spinning and the bed was turning . It was if a sledgehammer was being used on my head. My head kept on ringing like that big church bell in the tower . I heard one of those standing by saying ” this man was dead drunk and was unconscious when he was brought here, he must have smoked weed”.
My memory was coming back gradually as I started recalling all what happened . I remember I attended a friend’s birthday party with Ronnie, my wife. I could also recollect how I took the car key from Ronnie’s bag. And it was when she went to the toilet to ease herself that I took off. I recalled that she warned me not to drink the hard drink anymore as I had had more than enough and could make me tipsy. I recollected how I wobbled towards the car with the car key. I remembered how I tried to start the engine with the house key but later corrected myself.My mind flashed back to that scenario when I saw the trailer that was fully loaded with logs of wood. Again, I remembered how I took one -Way with high speed in order to quickly get to where I was going . I applied the brake when a truck tried to hit me. Ah , I remember that one of the occupants in the car continued to give me the gin to drink and I was happily playing music. ….then I rammed into an oncoming vehicle and had a head-on collision, and the radiator flung open while I ran into the bush and hit the big tree with a big bang. That was all I could remember now. Ah what happened to the airbag? Where is my phone ?. Where is my wife, Ronnie?.Mo gbé! . Wàhálà de! .Asiri tu!.
So I am now in the hospital?. Who brought me here?. I overheard one of the doctors saying that the windscreen of the car shattered and a branch of a tree pierced through and went into my left eye, the doctor said ”this man has lost his eye , he has punctured eyeball, cornel abrasion and acute Hyphema as a result of sharp objects that punctured his eyes while the optic nerve retinal blood vessel ,medial rectus muscle, vitreous body, Hyaloid canal and suspensory ligament are affected, he could go blind without any iota of doubt” , the ophthalmologist said and added ” this man will need an artificial eye . I will recommend Prosthetic eye surgery for him”.
Among the doctors who came to me is an Otolaryngologist, he said ”the impact of the accident, had affected this man’s hearing . We will replace his earlobe with earlobe silicon prosthesis”. He explained to me that my left earlobe was cut off by the window glass”. Another doctor, an orthopaedic looked at me and said ” this man has lost his right arm while his femur has damaged, he said ” Parts of his femur like head, neck, trochanteric crest, lesser trochanter pectineal line and Gluteal tuberosity are affected , he would need artificial limbs .He needs Prosthetic limbs one for his hand and another for his leg ”, the, doctor said. An Anesthesiologist added” Sir, you spent four hours on the surgeon’s table ” ,while a Nurse interjected ” Sir, you had internal bleeding and we had to give you blood transfusion because you lost a lot of blood during the accident ”, when I told her that my religion forbids Blood transfusion, the Nurse replied ” we have to save your life first because you were unconscious when you were brought here by an ambulance and you even fell into coma for three days during your surgery but God perfected everything ” . The Orthopaedic was looking at the X-rays he was holding and even it is possible my second leg could be amputated to avoid gangrene but if …..” that was all I could hear and different thoughts flooded my mind . I now remembered the one legged Pirate , Long John Silver in the Book ” Treasure Island” who had one leg and was supporting himself with crutches. I read the book in 1973 at All Saints’ Modern School, Owo, Ondo State.I now remembered the man with one eye , so I could easily be described in the public as a one-eyed man.What of my right arm?, the bones have broken and I would need another surgery and may need an artificial hand which is very expensive .According to the doctor I could become a Uniped or Bilateral Amputee, meaning one of my legs and hands could be amputated or if worse the two hands and legs could be amputated if….
While a man who claimed to be a Fire Brigade officer said my car somersaulted three times, hit an electric Pole and the petrol spilled on the ground and caught fire when they arrived. He said ” we had to use our instruments like rescue tools to cut the car into pieces before they could pull me out . That car is completely right -off for immediately you were pulled out from the wreckage the car caught fire!. I hope your insurance will cover it for you will have to replace the car and that of the car you damaged . The tree you hit is also there, you destroyed the tree!, the owner will have to be compensated.The airbag saved you. You are very lucky for not having spinal cord injury. I don’t know what you gain in drinking. When you are offered free drinks you don’t know when to stop, foolish man”
The police officer came with their result that the accident was as a result of Alcohol intoxication, spirit, marijuana all found in the car. I cried : Mo gbe , Nkan de o, kini gbogbo wahala yii?
I asked about the condition of the two passengers who rode with me in the Car , because I remember we were three. They smiled and said they did not see anybody . The Police officer said I had a case to answer as my results from breath, blood, and urine tests showed that I was drunk while driving which is against the Traffic rule.
MY FRIENDS DESERT ME
On my sick bed I received calls from friends while some blamed and heaped insults on me for the accident while others said they had warned me several times about my alcohol consumption . A close friend said ” Babalawo Of the Nation , we thought you have juju as you used to boast , shame on you”. While I received text messages that the accident served me right for my careless talk with my caustic tongue and writing about who killed a Chief I have been writing about.
Saluting an Electric Pole
A friend (names withheld) came to my bedside and said ” You glutton, did I not tell you to stop drinking at the party when you went to the Ladies instead of Gents to ease yourself ?. Did I not tell you that you were dead drunk when you were giving a Military salute to an electric pole and dancing without ?. Here is the picture I snapped when you were saluting an electric pole. Do you remember how you turned into a Traffic Warden passing all vehicles on the Highway when the Traffic lights were working?. Do you remember when the breeze was pushing you here and you were missing steps and walking unsteadily while you eventually threw up? . Were you not stammering and speaking gibberish ? . I am today denying you as my friend ”, he said as he walked out of the hospital.
A voice message was sent to me by an unknown person who prayed for my quick recovery, the voice said ” You will be healed in Jesus Mighty name”. Later I heard a voice saying ” I was that passenger sitting at the back seat and did not leave you alone. The man who was giving spirit and smoke by your side in the car had completed his dirty job and had left you looking for another victim”.
I WAS ARRAIGNED IN COURT
The following week I was charged to Court and many charges were leveled against me from overspeeding, drunkenness to smoking the prohibited ganja of which they found in my car, public nuisance and… When the prosecutor read the charges that ”You have ……. under the influence of Alcohol raped a minor,defiled her and this woman in the dock without their consents therefore you have committed an offence under Section … Are you guilty or not?” .
Immediately I heard the word ‘rape’ and saw a little girl , a minor and a strange ugly woman who looks like amoeba I had never come across in life . I threw away my crutches while my eyes popped out of the socket with my hairs standing erect with goose bumps and screamed ” My Lord, I did not rape. No sir, my case is that of auto crash. I did not rape ”.
” Whaaaaaat! I heard you shouting that you did not rape, what is the matter? .See how you are sweating . This is somniloquy. You are already late”,Ronnie said.
I quickly ran out to catch the bus to the train station so as not to be late to work.